AN IMAGINARY telephone conversation: Hello,where did you say you are calling from? Uttoxeter, I see.
Is that the place that used to be a pretty little market town with two famous factories Elkes and what was it now, Bamfords was it? Bamfords right!
It was a lively place to live you say — on Wednesdays particularly — when all the cattle men from the surrounding area used to congregate in the Market Place and High Street in order to talk shop and enjoy a joke.
It’s all gone you say, I can’t believe it.
What’s that you say, they do possess the best-run loo in the country —that’s nice.
The town hall is being left to rot, what an awful shame. The streets have undergone repair several times and the name of the game is regeneration —that’s a good one.
They now have yellow lines down most of the streets and cameras all over that town — surely it’s a good thing?
What was that — bounty hunters? Known by the locals as Daleks — who patrol the streets looking for parking offenders.
My goodness, surely there are enough car parks? No? Oh, I see they are being used for new housing that’s nice.
So where do residents and visitors park? Where they can down side streets, on people’s fronts — crikey.
What have the council done with the cattle market area? Not a lot and more houses.
They’re going to erect two large sculptures which cost a bomb —a bull you say and a what? A centaur or thinly disguised jockey with a peaked cap.
I think it’s a brilliant way of getting rid of your spare cash. You say people that you speak to all seem quite happy with the town’s new image that’s good.
I did read somewhere that Bamfords had been knocked down, so I expect that could be your new cattle market or parking area for shoppers?
By the bye, I’ve heard you have a market on Friday — that’s good — I must come and spend some cash.
Where do I park?
Resident of Uttoxeter on and off since 1947
